Talking to strangers can be an awkward experience- especially if you’re talking to a guy that you find attractive. In this article, you’ll learn some of the most effective tips to initiative a conversation with confidence and keep it going.
There is a misconception that women find it incredibly easy to speak to men. They think that just because women are pretty, can dress nicely, and know how to flash a smile that they can hook any man that they want. Unfortunately, it isn’t always that easy! Without confidence and proper training, it can feel awkward and uncomfortable to interact with attractive men. Only other women could understand how difficult it can be to start a conversation with a guy. When a man tries to talk to a woman and gets rejected, his friends are always supportive. However, it isn’t as good of a look when a woman gets shot down by a man. So how can you make sure this never happens to you?
If you’re a naturally nervous or anxious person, you may think that you’re out of luck when it comes to talking to guys. You couldn’t be more wrong! There are tips and tricks that you can master to learn how to act natural around guys and strike up conversations with ease. This article will be a step-by-step guide on how to do exactly that.
HARNESS THE POWER OF THINKING
Our mind is extremely complicated. It has the ability to make us believe anything that it wants us to- this is one of the reasons why girls get so afraid to talk to guys! The mind builds all guys up to be celebrities in our eyes when they are actually just normal people. It’s important to get your thinking in check when our brains put a man on a pedestal. When a guy you like seems better than or above you, you will be much more anxious to speak with him. And why? Simply because your brain told you to approach with caution. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t approach a guy to start a conversation. Don’t let your mind talk you out of it!
Both positive and negative thinking are incredibly powerful. Negative thoughts can have just as much control over you and your actions as positive thoughts. The switch from negative to positive thinking- especially when it comes to guys- is so important because it can change self-doubt into blazing confidence. But it won’t happen by itself. You need to trick your brain into believe that your positive thinking, rather than your negative thinking, is the truth! As actor Robin Williams said in Good Will Hunting, “You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal – that’s what intimacy is all about.”
As much as your brain may like to compare you to others, the truth is that no one is better than anyone else. No one is perfect. Everyone has their flaws! If someone was perfect, they would be so lonely because they’d have no one else to relate to- so don’t strive for perfection. Just be yourself and remember that the guy you like isn’t perfect, either! He farts, burps and drinks like a normal human being! He isn’t better than anyone else! Think about all of the goofy things about him and you’ll realize that you shouldn’t be nervous to talk to him at all.
CONVERSATION STARTING TRICKS
If you’ve ever heard a pick up line, then you’ve likely cringed- hard. Both pick up lines and common conversation starters can be incredibly cheesy! However, cheesy can be good. Many people are fond of cheesy conversation starters because this method shows that you have personality. Even people oozing with confidence oftentimes need the extra help of a conversation starter. After you use these lines a few time, it’ll feel much more natural to start a conversation with someone you may not know well.
Many girls who are trying to talk to guys dismiss conversation starters because they don’t think they’ll work. But they truly can! They will not only break the ice, but they can help you build confidence, which will make starting a conversation with a guy much easier. Conversation starters are also a useful way to ease into a conversation without seeming overwhelming.
An example of a simple conversation starter is the weather. If it’s raining, for example, mention that you forgot your umbrella at home. With all conversation starters, it’s important to end with a leading question, so say something like, “Don’t you hate when that happens?” It would be even better if he had an umbrella that the two of you could share! If the weather isn’t a viable conversation starter, you can try talking about something in the news, but keep it light hearted.
Conversation starters should always be positive and light. Starting a conversation with a stranger about something serious or dark would be a sure way to have them avoid you entirely. However, you could talk about a celebrity in the news or a funny puppy video that you saw the other day. Another idea for a conversation starter is talking about something related to where you two are. If you’re in line at the grocery store, for example, you could bring up the fact that prices on something you love have risen or that you found a great deal of your favorite food. If you’re at a train or bus station, you could ask him if he knows what time the next one will be there. Once he responds, you could ask him another question like what his name is and take it from there.
If you can’t bring yourself to initiate an entire conversation yourself, ask him to hold your purse while you pay your tab or keep your seat reserved while you go to the bathroom. By making him feel important and useful, he might even strike the conversation up with you first!
MAINTAIN THE CONVERSATION
Maintaining a conversation can be even more difficult that starting one in the first place. While it takes some courage to initiate a conversation, it takes both confidence and strategy to maintain a conversation. If your goal is to get this guy to notice you or ask you on a date, then you can’t neglect conversation maintenance! If you start a conversation and let it trail off, you’ll seem disinterested.
Remember that a conversation goes two ways. The best way to maintain a conversation is by feeding off of what the other person has just said. And remember to do all of this with courage and poise! Speak to this guy casually, just like you would speak to your brother, dad or a male friend. He isn’t that scary! Once he feels comfortable around you, he’ll open up more and contribute to the conversation so you won’t have to do all of the work.
When it comes to conversation topics for speaking to a guy you just met, the options are endless! If he’s a complete stranger, then there are so many things that you could both talk about- childhoods, work, family, hobbies, dislikes, and so on. However, a few things to avoid when starting a conversation with a guy for the first time are: ex-boyfriends, your sex life, and any previous relationships. The only exception to this rule is if you’re just looking for a hookup and nothing serious.
In the conversation, drop subtle hints that you like him. Flirt a bit brushing your fingers across his leg or casually touching his arm. Giving our compliments is also a great strategy! These small gestures will give him insight into your intentions without being overly forward or sexual. Keep in mind that once a conversation starts, it tends to continue naturally. You just need to get over that initial awkward slump and then it will be smooth sailing from there! If anything uncomfortable happens during the conversation or you lose your train of thought, just laugh it off! Guys love a girl who can laugh at herself.
END ON A POSITIVE NOTE
When you get into a good conversation, it’s easy to lose track of time. If you ran into the guy you struck up a conversation with at a bus stop or shopping mall, you may both have things to do that you completely forgot about! If this happens and you need to cut the conversation short, don’t feel bad. Instead, use it to your advantage! If the guy you’re speaking with hasn’t dropped any hints about exchanging numbers or meeting up sometime, take control of the situation!
If you felt that the conversation was going in a good direction, then say something like “You should message me so we can do this again sometime” and give him your number. After you have exchanged contact information, promptly say goodbye and leave. It’s important to end the conversation on a positive note that will likely stay stuck in his brain for days until he calls you!
DON’T STRESS
If the concept of speaking with strangers gives you butterflies in your stomach, you aren’t alone. Many other people also get nervous when speaking with strangers- hey, the guy you want to talk to may be just as nervous! Even those who exude confidence and seem cocky can be shy on the inside. If you embarrass yourself in the conversation or make a mistake, don’t worry! Remember that the person you’re speaking with is probably shaking in their boots, too, and will stumble on a few words.
If you do make a mistake in the conversation, make light of the situation! Laugh it off, make a joke about it or even ignore it. This stuff happens! If you keep up your confidence throughout the conversation, your mess-ups will be forgotten before the conversation is over. But whatever you do, don’t waste your time obsessing over a little mistake or tormenting yourself for saying the wrong thing. The conversation won’t die out just because you stumbled over a word or misspoke!
At the end of the day, starting a conversation with a guy can be easy if you follow these tips. Remember that you’re not perfect and neither is he. Being nervous is completely normal, but confidence is a real game changer. One good conversation with a guy and your whole life can change!
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