I’ve just come to know that my grandma (dad’s mom) has been sent off to live in a care home now that she’s pretty old (80+). The woman has given birth to 10 children, 2 have passed away, 3 are living abroad but the others, at least 4 of them are living back home in the same city as grandma.
At least 2 of them can afford to pay for someone to take care of her in their own home, but they’ve decided to see her as a burden.
It burns my heart so much thinking about it. It just burns my heart. Even my mother, her daughter in law would have happily taken care of her in our own home if she was in this country.
The only times I think it’s acceptable, to send elderly parents to care home are:
- If you’re sick and can’t afford to pay for someone to take care of them in your own home.
- Or you’re living abroad and absolutely have no way of bringing your parents to you.
Other than the above reasons, nothing else should be in the way.
Read Exodus 20:12.
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the lord your God is giving you.”
Honoring your father and mother, is not a choice but a commandment given by the lord.
I highly doubt the lord was talking about sending them to care home in their old age, what about you?
I guess some people feel shy or disgusted by the idea of doing all the personal care like toileting, washing and so on?
Your mother could have sent you off to a care home also if she had felt that way when you were a baby.
When you were a baby, it was their responsibility to take care of you. But now that they’re old and can’t take care of themselves, your parents are now your babies. It’s YOUR responsibility to wash them, help them with toileting and do everything for them.
It freaks me out that people always forget about Luke 12:20 (The parable of the rich fool).
A certain rich man was comforting his soul saying things like “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take it easy. Eat, drink and be merry!”.
At that very moment, God was looking at him and said, “You fool, this very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you’ve prepared for yourself?”.
See that my friends, when you allow life to get too busy and run after worldly things 24/7, do not forget about this parable. Death is unavoidable and unpredictable.
The point is, don’t allow this world and all that it has, to take away the real gifts the lord has given you. Your parents are one of those gifts.
When they’re in their old age and can’t take care of themselves, please do not send them to those care homes.
Just because you’re sending them off to a fancy high paid home, does not mean they’re looked after the way you would want them to be.
I have worked as a care assistant in my past, and have witnessed it myself, the horrors of how the elderly adults with dementia are treated.
Just remember my friend, if you ever send your elderly parents to a care home, they will get 2 types of care:
- The care they get when you’re there.
- The care they get when nobody’s watching.
Do not allow your wife, or husband, or children to get in the way of you taking care of your elderly parents in their old age. If at all possible, hire someone to look after them in their own home.
And please set up cameras, when you do so. Trust me, those care home horror stories you hear from the news, are real and they still happen in most places.
Taking care of your elderly parents in their old age, is a form of charity and a great act of kindness, that you can do to please the lord. So do not miss it at any cost.
Oh I heard my grandma used to sell vegetables on the street to raise her children, and now that lady has been abandoned by all of them in a care home. I can’t imagine how she must be feeling right now.
Please feel free to share your thoughts on this in the comments below.