I don’t know how to explain this in words without falling prey for some kind of controversy here, but, my hubby slaps me sometimes when I piss him off about something (big or small), and…. I’m fine with that.
His slaps, do hurt of course, but only for a few minutes. He doesn’t slap me in a way my face is left with scars of any sort or bleeding, but, the point is that sometimes, he can’t help himself from slapping me because of his very short temper.
Now, don’t start judging my husband as an abusive man bla bla because, he really isn’t. He is a truly god sent man in my life, and i know exactly how much he loves me. I am his number 1 priority in everything, after the lord almighty.
He is short tempered, but his temper would only last a few minutes or hours maximum, by the grace of the lord. As a matter of fact, we’re both short tempered, but we have admitted our weakness to the lord and, are working on getting rid of this bad habit.
In saying all of the above, I’m not by any means trying to say that you should tolerate physical abuse from your husband, especially when you know for sure the guy doesn’t even love you. But i’m just simply being open about a small negative thing (to me, at least) that occurs in our marriage life and admitting that it doesn’t affect the love we have for each other.
Here are 6 ways you can learn to deal with and love your short tempered husband:
NO 1: Ask yourself something like “How has my life changed since this man came into it?”
Asking myself such questions is one way I have learned to brush away any negative effects of his short temper on me or us.
To be honest, if i could go back in time, I would erase all the things and people from my past and put my hubby there. I was 23 when we fell in love, but feel like I should have fallen in love with him when I was 16 or something. That’s how much I love his presence in my life and he has truly brought out the god fearing woman inside of me.
No matter how many arguments or fights we have had or may still have in the future, we both know, we are meant to be soulmates until death do us apart. And because we both believe without a single doubt in our heart, that the lord united us together for a good purpose, not to live happy for a short period and then be separated because of silly issues.
Now close your eyes and think, can you even imagine your life without your husband? Do you think anyone else will ever be able to fill his space?
These questions will help you learn and realize for yourself, how important this man is in your life and hopefully give you a strong reminder of how much you love him and he loves you.
NO 2: Keep your mouth shut and meditate on “Though I walk through the darkest valley of death, i will fear no evil because the lord almighty is with me. His staff and rod, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)”
When you know the devil is right on track with stirring up an argument or misunderstanding with your husband, the first thing you need to do is, keep your mouth shut. It won’t always be easy, but ask the lord to help you stay calm.
If your hubby is angry and is shouting at you for whatever reason, and you shout back or swear, is it going to help or make the situation worse?
Trust me, i had to learn this the hard way. I used to be rebellious and argue back, and still do at times, but by the grace of the lord, I quickly start meditating Psalm 23:4 in my heart every time I sense an argument brewing up between me and hubby.
I would also kneel down and pray immediately when possible because that alone will end up causing a miracle to take place every single time. We argue, I pray (with tears at times), god hears and causes my hubby to come and make peace with me in a miraculous way.
NO 3: Give him a few minutes to an hour to calm down.
The way my husband works is, every time he fumes up, I would leave him alone for a few minutes while I pray and relax my mind. That gives him a bit of time to calm down and think about the way he acted, and, he eventually starts yearning for me to go and talk to him.
If it’s me making the first move to go and talk to him (because sometimes I play the attention seeking baby role), I’d go make him lie down and give him a few kisses here and there to cool us both down. Or I’d just sleep on his chest for a bit and that often solves everything because we both end up cuddling, laughing and acting like nothing happened afterwards.
So try giving your hubby a little while to calm down before you go and cuddle with him.
And this leads me to…
NO 4: Do you sleep on your husband’s chest and cuddle shortly after his short temper moment?
After doing what’s written on tip number 3, you really have to cuddle mayn! Just try it if you aren’t already doing this. Wait for a while for him to calm down and then just randomly ask him to lie down and you sleep on his chest. You don’t have to say anything until you feel the need to. Just allow your sweet moments to speak.
And that leads me to…
NO 5: Who’s got time for ego in this? Not me, well, at least not anymore.
The lord has, and still is changing me to become a submissive wife. I’m not perfect or fully submissive, yet, but with his grace, I am constantly trying these days.
Shortly after my hubby finishes screaming at me for whatever reason that turned on his short temper, I would go and do what you’ve just read on tip number 4.
I try my best not to allow any ego or pride to get in the way of us two making peace with each other, every single time.
NO 6: You having a crazy go at me is not going to stop me from making your favorite roasted lamb chop dinner for you.
Never allow his short temper to get in the way of you doing your wife duties for your husband. From preparing food to asking him to come and eat with a sweet tone.
When you start acting like your husband’s short temper doesn’t effect your love for him, he will truly want to start working on his bad habit. He would start feeling guilty, slowly but surely.
Prayer and patience, all the way.
Now come on, tell us about your hubby. Does he too have short temper? How do you deal with him?