Oh crap that word “submissive” is like a swear word these days.
Anytime someone like me want to write or say anything about it, there’s a group of so called independent Marilyn Monroe inspired ladies trying to attack us saying we should leave “being a submissive wife” to the dinosaur age or that we’re out of date and so on.
Before I say (write) another word, I just want to humbly say that I’m not the best example of a submissive wife.
As a matter of fact, I used to be quite a rebel, especially before we got married, and still am at times.
But ever since my darling hubby accepted the lord and became a born-again Christian, I’ve also been trying harder than ever before to become a submissive wife that the lord wants me to be.
It feels incredibly awesome to say, I have been falling in love with him more and more, every single day, even before we got married in April 2016.
Don’t start assuming our love/marriage life has and is always full of roses, no way!
We fight and argue like little children at times, but our love, only keeps getting better and stronger every day.
I give all the credit to our lord Jesus Christ, for guiding us in his light in this evil world full of happily broken marriages.
Here are 7 ways I’ve learned to be a submissive wife to my husband:
NO 1: I have happily changed my way of dressing for my husband.
Although the main reason I avoid wearing short sleeved tops is because of my flabby arms, I still wouldn’t dare to wear sleeveless tops even if my arms were slimmer.
I also don’t wear dresses or skirts above knees, simply because my husband wouldn’t like it.
The most beautiful thing about this, is that, I’m so happy wearing clothes that he finds attractive.
The closer I started walking with the lord, the more I got to understand that the way I dress can play a huge role in the way people look at my husband.
In Matthew 5:28, the lord says that anyone who looks at another woman with lust in his eyes has committed adultery with her in his heart.
^What does that mean for me and you?
We need to try and dress in a way that we don’t cause other people to sin with their eyes. I don’t know about you but, i certainly don’t want that.
Even my makeup, I try not to get carried away with the latest smoky eyes and red lipstick trends.I stick with some pink shades of lipstick and eyeliner and shade in my eyebrows a little bit.
NO 2: Making changes to be a better wife, brings pure joy.
Not kidding. When you’re super crazily in love with your husband, like I am with my Mr.grumpy, every little thing you change about yourself to make him happy, will also make you happy in the long run.
Now making changes does not mean my husband will ever dare to put a piece of mutton in my mouth unless he wanted to lose a finger also.
We both respect each other’s likes/dislikes when it comes to things like songs, food and so on.
All I’m saying is, don’t get carried away with the “I’m an independent woman and I can make all choices myself” bla bla trends.
Those things are from the devil, seriously. The devil is using these so called independent women to brainwash happily married wives from being submissive to their husbands.
NO 3: Learning to accept some of his weaknesses.
My hubby used to spend an awful lot of time on Facebook and playing games on the phone. He still does, but by the grace of the lord, he has calmed down big time!
He also has short temper.
Guess what? I used to nag him to stop. Didn’t work.
I nagged our lord in prayer every single day, still do, and he is already working wonders.
Maybe your hubby also does things that you may find annoying, but instead of pressurizing him, start pressurizing the lord. Just kneel down and pour your heart until he gives you a solution.
NO 4: I don’t have any male friends, at all.
That obviously wasn’t the case before we married, but who cares about the before part. It’s all about the after right?
I don’t give a rats a** about having male friends. The only male friend I ever want to have until my last breath is my sweet husband.
He supports me like a friend in many aspects of our life. From the ways we serve the lord to, my career choices, my husband supports me like a soul mate.
The way we both crack jokes together and do crazy things together, he has proven to not only the best husband I could ever have but also a best friend.
If your husband doesn’t like you talking to that male friend or colleague of yours, I’m sorry why are you still wasting time? There’s no if or but, just avoid it.
If the man loves you with all his heart and treats you right, I’m sure making these small sacrifices is not going to cost you anything right.
NO 5: Learn to keep your mouth shut during arguments.
You absolutely don’t have to listen to me on this. BUT, listen to the lord!
He says in Proverbs 14:29, “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”
Folly basically means stupid. If your hubby has short temper and is having a go at you and you do it back, read that proverb again.
I still find this one hard, many times, but I’ve improved a lot by the lord’s grace.
I’m learning to just allow my husband to finish saying whatever he has to say when he’s angry and just leave it as that.
I try to get my points to him in a calm tone after he’s calmed down. Like when we’re cuddling together or something.
And 90% of those times, he will allow me to speak whatever I have to say and actually make an effort to agree with my points.
See that’s why it’s good to listen to the lord and learn to be calm during arguments.
NO 6: Respect his decisions in your financial matters.
This plays a huge role in their self-esteem.
I have learned to include my husband in all our financial matters, from how much we spend on shopping to how much we can lend to others. I’ve left it to him.
Of course, he allows me to buy the things I want, but when/if he refuses, I try not to make a fuss about it.
I’m not good when it comes to spending money wisely but my hubby is, and that’s one of the reasons I have learned to trust his financial choices.
Start respecting the opinion of your husband when it comes to how you spend your money.
Trust me, even if it’s just about buying a new dishwasher for your home, you should give him the chance to express his opinion about it.
NO 7: Never allow a single soul to say negative things about your hubby.
Last but not least, I would never ever allow a single person to say anything bad about my husband. Not even my mother, because she’s quite a picky person at times.
I have told my husband and all of my family members openly, that I will happily let go off anyone from my life who doesn’t respect my husband.
After our lord Jesus, my husband, is and will always be my everything. He is my number 1 priority after God and I will always strive to keep it that way.
I don’t have good opinions about people who get on the bad side of my husband. If he doesn’t get along with someone, it will usually be the same case with me also.
Speaking of which, you probably should read this post I wrote about friends and relatives who secretly enjoy seeing you and your husband fight.
I want to keep our marriage vows. We’re so happily in love.
We fight and argue at times, but that does no harm to the love we have for each other. If anything, it only makes us miss each other more.
I want to be with my husband and he wants to be with me until death do us apart.
I’m not gonna allow anybody and no evil forces to get in the way of that! We’re both clinging onto the lord for A-Z of every aspect.
Trust me, allowing a third person (anyone and everyone) to judge your husband is one of the worse things you can do in your marriage life. If you’ve already allowed it, start fixing up.
Stand up for your husband through thick and thin. Even if others are pointing out his obvious mistakes, stand up for him and shut people up from butting into your marriage life.
See the difference it will make in the emotional bond you share with him.
Don’t forget to read How to keep your husband tied around your pinky finger!
What do you do to be a submissive wife to your husband? Share some tips with us!